Wow, this day is so surreal. I am writing to you currently drinking a Truly with Morgan Wallen playing in the back – overwhelmed. Today, was a strange day. I found myself staring out the window an awful lot. Our world is in a crazy and scary state but the fact that there are so many good things still happening brings warmness to my soul.
About four months ago I was looking for more. The year 2020 was almost complete, I had weddings taken from me in the name of a virus, I missed work, I felt incomplete some might say. The sight of depression was the horizon, ( not deep just missed working and missed doing what I love ). I was talking to a girlfriend and I looked around for what I could help or what my ” new project” could be. Belle Lumiere Magazine popped in my head, they were my very first instagram share/publication. And I knew they were an education platform. I have always had a heart for teaching. From the time I was in college to praying for others or teaching the Word to opening up mentoring about a year ago. I reached out and come to find out there was a spot open to teach at the Fleurir Summit. About an hour after committing to the Summit I was over joyed, number one because I was accepted, and number two this challenged me in a time I needed it most.
However, I thought to myself – my goodness what am I going to teach on? I kid you not, I had topics written out in about two hours. I was amazed. It used to take me days to complete an essay in school. So how did I name my class?
France has been a huge inspiration to me. It is a place I crave to visit, a place that inspires me to the core. Every photograph I see, the textures of the buildings, all the way down to the fashion. I wanted something in French to represent this class. So I chose La Reforme French for reformation – To re establish. That was it, five ways to re – establish your business after a crisis. Personally, I felt 2020 was a crisis lol
I’m not going to discuss the matters within my class in detail but most of what I wrote I was speaking to myself as well. From all the things I have learned in the industry to what I have studied and learned in my personal life.
In all honesty, I wouldn’t have been able to teach or really have anything to teach if it wasn’t for my relationship with the Lord. I’m not one for religion, more simply a relationship. In fact, in the beginning of my class I actually tell the secret of where i found the definition of reformation. Paula White. She posted this wonderful definition one night and it just stuck. If you don’t know who Paula White is I will let you do your own research – she is a very amazing and inspiring woman.
Before I end this somewhat pointless post – one of the topics I talked about was fear. For those of you that know me, you know that I struggled with fear for a long time. Especially when I first got married. There was so much change, and unknown that fear literally gripped me. Fear and anxiety got so bad, it began to manifest on the outside. I would break out in awful rashes. I even had a doctor ask me if i wanted ant anxiety pills. and i declined.
My goodness, I beg you to know not let fear win over you. Live a fearless life. Take chances, send that scary email, have that conversation, whatever it is that scares you do it. Teaching this class scared the daylights out of me. Fear of peoples opinions is something that i struggle with that I am not happy to admit but it’s the truth. Maybe it’s because I have heard what people say. ” She is just faking looking busy” ” she isn’t really working a real job”. the list goes on. And then you have the WHAT IFS what if people think this or that etc. So teaching a class was scary!
In saying that I put fear on the shelf, i brushed off the thoughts of what people thing and I purely loved every second of it. From the stress of it, to the bloopers to La Reforme going live today. Every part of it. And I must say I am damn proud of myself. It’s not everyday you get to encourage a group of photographers. So tonight as I finish my Truly and listen to Morgan Wallen and as my husband is about to come home I am thankful. Thankful for the opportunity, thankful for my career, thankful for YOU.